You did something rash. Desperate for sun and fun, you took your vacation in early June and now, faced with the prospect of weeks of broiling urban grind, you are ready to off yourself. DON’T DO IT! There is hope.
I myself made exactly the same mistake. I zipped off to Capri in late June, spent a glorious week frolicking in the Med, and am now suffering from premature vacationer’s regret. How am I going to while away the long hot summer?
Here are ten strategies that I will be deploying—and you should too!—to combat the agony of the slow, sweaty run-up to Labor Day:
1.) Starting immediately: Befriend somebody who lives in London Terrace. (The swimming pool is legendary!)
2.) Lose the snobbism. Hokey beach hang-outs like Jones Beach and Coney Island are within screeching distance of NYC and just as much fun as the Hamptons.
4.) Instead of schlepping back to your sweltering apartment and ordering take-out, coral your office-mates and organize a picnic dinner in Central Park. #racoons #Insta
5.) Learn from Karl Lagerfeld and carry a Chinoise fan. Back in the day, Kaiser Karl never left the house without a glamorous twitching fan clutched in his right paw.
6.) Harvey Wallbanger, Arnold Palmer, and Shirley Temple all did it, so why not you? Invent a drink—how about ginger beer with mint and brandy??—name it after yourself, and try to make it famous by the end of the summer. “Waiter, I’ll take a Simon Doonan to go, please!” #sippycup
7.) Never been blonde? What are you waiting for? By end of summer, you will be sporting a wicked surfer-dude look, complete with black roots. Edie Sedgwick meets Curt Cobain.
8.) Do a Holly Golightly: Sit on your fire escape and strum Moon River at least once before the end of the summer.
9.) Visit a new neighborhood: Staten Island, Washington Heights, Tuxedo Park! Sample the indigenous culinary delights and pretend to be Anthony Bourdain.
10.) Learn from your mistakes: Schedule next year’s vacation NOW…for next August.